What Your Favorite Fullmetal Alchemist Ship Says About You


[Mozart – Eine Kleine Nachtmusik] Looking back on your childhood, you can pinpoint Fullmetal Alchemist as the beginning of your crippling addiction to jackasses with a heart of gold. You also like jackasses with a heart of gold, but, like… You have your limits. Your top priorities are keeping things canon, and keeping things wholesome. You just wanted good things for Mei, and really, who wouldn’t? This is just the same joke as Ed and Mustang, but you were upset that my joke for that one wasn’t… [“FBI OPEN UP”] You like the idea of dating an authority figure, but like, not that kind of authority figure. You have left at least three YouTube comments asking me to do a ship video for Ouran High School Host Club. You did that thing in high school where if you had two friends, who were constantly complaining about how single they were, you’d try to get them together. You just wanted good things for Hughes, press F to pay respects. You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of stealing somebody’s girl. You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of putting up with Mustang’s shit. You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of “TINY MINI SKIRTS!” You have gotten into at least one heated internet argument with someone because they said that Brotherhood is, “waaay better than the original.” Two possibilites: either your interest in Ed’s existing relationship dynamics is outweighed by your crippling addiction to enemies-to-lovers, Or, you’re just a monsterfucker. Your ideal relationship dynamic is someone who acts like they don’t care, but they actually care a lot. Your ideal relationship dynamic is the plot of the movie Venom. Your ideal relationship dynamic is 👏 MEN 👏GETTING 👏 PEGGED! I can’t say for sure if you’re a lesbian, but you definitely want a girlfriend who could kick your ass. You believe that a couple that lifts together, stays together. You’re always a sucker for characters who are just like, totally self-interested assholes. You’re always a sucker for characters who are in desperate need of more screentime. You’re always a sucker for bara. You… are Edward Elric. [Mozart – Eine Kleine Nachtmusik]

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